I think I speak for all of us when I say that nothing brightens your day like a compliment. The fact that someone took the time to spread a little love and joy your way can make all the difference. A trademark of a poised lady is that she is always quick with compliments and slow with criticism. However, compliments are a delicate thing and there are definitely some guidelines to keep in mind when delivering them.
- Be Aware There are some praises that we think are universal. “You look so skinny!” is assumed to be one of them. For many of our friends and family, though, this is a complicated phrase. Maybe there’s a history of body dysmorphia or disordered eating. Or perhaps your friend just feels uncomfortable talking about weight. Either way, “You look fantastic!” goes a lot farther and with less potential baggage. Everyone likes hearing they look great!
- Be Sincere Maybe you heard it from your parents. Maybe you heard it on television or read it in a book. Regardless, somewhere during your growing up years you heard that if you couldn’t say anything nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all. In the world of compliments, this rings especially true. It’s true that compliments can break the ice but it can make things more awkward if you’re insincere. If you don’t mean it, they know. They always know. Make sure that when you greet someone with a kind word, you really mean it. Otherwise, better to not say anything at all.
- Be Creative Each one of us has a myriad of things to offer the world. We might be funny, smart, charming, excellent at maths. We might possess great fashion skills or a depth of knowledge about aquatic wildlife. So too do the people in our lives. As such, the poised girl finds ways to compliment all the things about someone’s life and not just their looks. No one will be unhappy being told they are smart, funny, kind, or interesting. These are people in your life. Find ways to personalise your compliments. Not only will it bring joy to your friend, it will likely open up an exciting conversation opportunity.
What are your favourite compliments to give and receive?