One of my favorite shows on television is House Hunters Internation on HGTV. I record the episodes and watch them in bulk, often screaming “NO YOU IDIOTS BUY THE HISTORICAL COTTAGE WITH THE VIEWS OF THE RIVER.”
But I digress.
Each time I watch an episode of House Hunters International, I decide I must move to that city. I really must relocate to the outskirts of Iceland. Really, I must. It also shows me all the homes I don’t own but really need to purchase. Here are the top five that I have my eye on:
A Hut in Bali
List Price: $550,000
And by “hut” I mean architectural wonder with hut-like roof. For when I need to escape cell service and wi-fi, I’ll just fly off to Bali and stay in my 4-bedroom, 4-bath villa, with swimming pool, open floor plan, and views of rice paddies. Rice paddies! How cute is that! You can come visit me but no Apple products allowed.
A Chateau in France
List price: $1.6 Million
This modest family home near Nevers, France, boasts a 19th century Chateau with a 17th century chapel on property. It is considered a castle-style chateau, and its classic architecture is sure to impress. It has ten bedrooms but only nine bathrooms, but its lack of toilets is made up with an in-house ballroom. I’ll invite you to my many galas.
A Villa on Mustique
List price: Upon request, rentals start at $8,000/week
There is an unmistakeble level of glamour to Mustique, mostly because the plebeians have never heard of it. Only us elegant, knowledgeable, refined girls are aware of the private getaway favored by the rich and famous. There are currently four villas for sale, all with unbelievable amenities. You can borrow it when I’m not in town.
A Castle in Germany
List price: $23.4 million
Yes, I do need a Chateau and a Castle. Doesn’t everyone? This impressive, 1000-year-old castle sits on the Rhine River and boasts an indoor pool, indoor movie theater, tennis courts, chapel, helipad, and I think it even has a dungeon. Floor length gowns are the required dress code, at least while I’m in town.
An English Cottage
My favorite character in the movie The Holiday is Rosewood Cottage, Iris’ charming home in Surrey. I really must invest in a small, picturesque, historic cottage like this one – an Elizabethan (seriously!) period house with six bedrooms. I’ll pop on the kettle while my husband reads a book in a tweed blazer… and speaks in funny English phrases… and during the week we’ll live here.
Sigh, these are all so dreamy… I must go pack my bags and start house shopping right away!