A couple of years ago, I remember walking around a fancy Department store with a friend and overhearing a saleswoman telling a customer about a new designer mouthwash. Thinking that I might have had one too many glasses of Moscato at lunch, I didn’t stop and turn around to review the alleged mouthwash of the stars. Why on earth one needed a designer mouthwash was beyond me, you were literally going to spit it down the drain, weren’t you? In any case, I was recently visiting someone’s home and while using their restroom facilities, noticed a gorgeous glass container on the bathroom vanity. Enthralled (and because the door was locked) I examined it more closely and realized I was holding a jar of designer Marvis mouthwash. Now that I knew someone who owned designer mouthwash, it was obviously going to have to be brought up in conversation and deemed appropriate or not.
As I tried to figure out how to work designer mouthwash into the conversation, I realized that this was one of those moments where I could really apply the Refined Side mantra. Would having designer mouthwash bring me pleasure? Never having tasted it before, I decided I needed to test the designer mouthwash for myself after which I would be in a position to determine if I needed it in my life. Sounds simple, right? Well, not wanting to look like I had a bladder control issue, I excused myself to wash my hands after “klutzy” me spilled some of the hors d’oeuvres on my hand. I went to the bathroom with my purse in tow, and pulled out my water bottle which I happen to carry with me most places and used the lid to pour the smallest amount of designer mouthwash for a taste test. Cause, you know, I’m nothing if not a classy lady.
So now you want to know what happened, right? Well, let me try and explain it to you. You know how when you bite into an Altoids and the “curiously strong” mint flavour can almost make your eyes water? Picture liquid extra-strength curiously strong Altoids swimming around in your mouth burning away at the insides of your cheeks and possibly damaging your tastebuds forever. Knowing that I was enjoying designer mouthwash, I tried to hold on for as long as I could – maybe the flavour would get smoother – but I had to spit it out quite quickly. I filled my water bottle up and tried to dowse the minty waves of fire still rippling through my mouth. Walking back to the living room, I thought that perhaps I just wasn’t cut out for the life of the luxury. Maybe luxurious living needed to include tastebuds of steel, or at the very least a high tolerance to mint flavour. Or, maybe my breath would smell minty fresh for days… But the bumps on the top of my tongue led me to think I was not ready for this level of mouth cleanliness. A pure and utter failure.
I joined back into the conversation and eventually we began to discuss beauty treatments that we had seen on TV that were outrageous. The hostess was telling us about a dental procedure she had recently had done that involved injections of botox into her gums when she paused and went to the bathroom, only to return carrying the mouthwash container. She proudly told us that her dentist had recommended it because it works without stripping gums. With, well, my stripped gums sitting on her couch, I watched as another friend asked to try some. I couldn’t very well say I had been secretly trying some in her powder room, so I watched as she went to the kitchen and came back with a glass full of this mouthwash in an oddly different colour than the bottle. My opening! I asked about the colour change and she said the formula came concentrated so you had to dilute it before using. Of course, the testing friend excused herself to try the mouthwash while we all sat talking about the beauty of the bottle. The friend came back with a big smile and said she loved it. As my mouth was regaining consciousness, I also decided to try the diluted concoction and it did taste much better. I can’t give you an honest review as my mouth was sensitive for several days later and I’m not entirely confident of my testing.
The cost might seem high at the outset ($25-30/bottle) but considering how much water you will be adding, it’s actually not that unreasonable. Marvis mouthwash, to me, is one of those things I can use decoratively on my bathroom vanity counter and perhaps if I had more sensitive teeth requirements it could become part of my oral hygiene routine. I decided to skip this one as I felt it didn’t live into the Refined Side guidelines of bringing me comfort or pleasure, even though it might make me happy to look at it on a counter. Sorry, Marvis, but I guess I’ll just be staring at you on bathroom counters I visit for now.
Marvis Mouthwash features a concentrated formula designed to kills germs and neutralize odor causing bacteria without stripping or irritating your teeth and gums. Xylitol and propolis extract promote good oral hygiene by gently and effectively fighting cavities and gingivitis to leave your mouth feeling clean and your breath fresh.