Well, today is officially my 30th birthday. Don’t hold your collective breaths and start sending me wrinkle creams, but I’m no longer going to be able to associate myself with the twenty-something moniker that I’ve quite frankly been very attached to. I’ve not had much of an issue with getting older thus far – in fact, I’ve been lying professionally about my age since I was 21 – until just recently when it dawned on me that I would no longer be able to get away with the cuteness of the “twenty-something” excuse and no longer be able to put off mature, adult behaviours until I was an adult because I am now most definitely one. *
I wrote a few months ago about all the things I thought everyone should know by the time they hit 30 and since I’m the one who wrote the list, I’ve accomplished them all. In fact, on my 20th birthday I sat down and wrote out a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish in the next decade – and I did 19/20 of them. Things like: I wanted to leave my continent. Done- visited Europe and Asia. I wanted to get married and have a baby. Done – one husband, one child. I wanted to reach a Senior position in my company before going on maternity leave. Done – I have had very impressive titles.
But what has surprised me the most in the weeks leading up to this fateful day has been one thing surpassing all others… I’m still not comfortable with who I am- and that is what my goal is to figure out in my thirties. Here are my (lofty) life goal list for the next decade.
- I’m going to get healthy. Notice I didn’t say skinny, which is what 20 year old me would write (and 30 year old me really really wants to) but I want to find a way to enjoy life, food and find a balance which equates to a healthy weight and lifestyle.
- I’m going to stop trying to be older. Sounds ridiculous, but reaching career success as a younger woman often means you have to dress older, look older and camouflage your age. Embrace who I am at this exact stage in my life.
- I’m going to stop worrying about people who don’t worry about me. Just because someone is a person you are supposed to have a relationship with for doesn’t make it alright to have one if it’s making my life worse.
- Likewise, I can’t invest time or energy in friendships that make me, for whatever reason, feel bad about myself or make me feel like I’m less worthy.
- I will no longer apologize for my interests and likes. I really like rainy days and my idea of a perfect vacation is spent shopping, drinking and eating guacamole. Sue me.
- I will try to have more patience in everyday life. My tiny son will one day no longer pull me around by the hand to see something I’ve just.freaking.seen.
- I will appreciate that everyone is fighting something, whether I can see it or not and be a little more compassionate about it.
- I’m going to find and take time to myself. While I love people, I also very much enjoy spending time alone. If you think this is nuts, read #5.
- I’m going to find a hobby. Something that I can become madly passionate about and pursuant to #5 above, I will not apologize for it
- I will not take for granted the people closest to me. I have a terrible tendency of taking out frustrations and anger on them rather than the grocery store clerk/new driver/slow cashier/etc/etc/etc. My husband doesn’t deserve worse treatment than I give to the pizza delivery guy – although he’s probably a nice guy too
- As I have a knack of finding things to worry about and then worrying about the things I can’t control. I’m going to try a new technique of writing out every last thing that bothers me once a week. Yup, every single one. Then I can figure out what I can (or can’t do about them) and this should hopefully add some more feelings of control to them.
So there are my lofty goals. I know that nothing changes when I wake up in the morning as a thirty year old other than the box I tick on surveys and apparently what my skin/fashion concerns are now that I’m in a new decade… But it’s been a difficult thing to grasp thus far. Perhaps 30 year old me will fare much better? That I don’t know. But I do know for sure that 10 year old me (the blonde one in the video, below) would be proud and that’s really all that matters to me.
* Note: I own a house, a car, am married, have a career, a baby and retirement savings in the bank. I’m probably more mature than I think which is even more depressing…